The Dude hated the Eagles. The Blues Brothers hated Illinois Nazis. But me? I really hate the fucking Bruins.

Every so often I think about picking up Bauer for my fantasy team and then I remember he’s an asshole. And also that he’s not very good, but primarily that he’s an asshole.

Yeah, baseball is a team sport in a way basketball isn’t.

A sex farm? With sex hookers?

Although they were very much the exception to the rule.

How Great Job, Internet? None. None more Great Job, Internet.

Twitter’s overflowing with pissy Sawx fans who think the error and the Benintendi call are proof the league “wanted” Manaea to have a no-hitter, and their salty tears nourish my soul.

I’m going to need a ruling from a statistically significant number of former and current Cardinals players as to whether or not this qualifies as playing the game the right way.

As far as I’m concerned the most goddamn infuriating piece of jargon is “move the needle on [topic],” which all of my coworkers use all the time and makes me want to tear off my ears, but in the teeming jungle of business-speak bullshit we all get bitten on the ass by different metaphorical bugs.

Look, the ol’ “pivot to video”!

We were going *nuts.* And, as mentioned, we were up in the balcony in sitting-land.

For me it was (most recently) at a Springsteen show, which is even better because Bruce doesn’t have a gap between the crowd and the stage, or security at the front - the front row of people are literally resting their elbows on the stage. But of course there aren’t a lot of crowd-surfers at that show (other than…

The most inebriated dancing I’ve ever done at a show was in the front row of the balcony for a Franz Ferdinand show. We got patted down by security between songs twice.

Speaking from personal experience, though, if you do manage to get right up at the front for an arena or stadium show, you get to turn around and gloat over how far away the hoi polloi are and how fucking awesome being at the rail is.

Things can get pretty intense down at the front of a Dawes show, we all know that.

I remember the first time I went to a show where people sat down. It was fucking weird, like everyone was deciding “we liked this band enough to come to the show, but only because we had nothing else going on.”

As a joke here on Deadspin, sure, but why the hell is the MLB itself acting like this cool?

Votto’s a great player but he’s got a career-long history of being a dick wrt fans and foul balls in particular, and I don’t know why people are treating this like it’s funny. He’s being shitty on purpose.

“A Fox 6 coworker identified as Mattalyn.”

For thoughts on today’s display of toddler-esque behaviour from an umpire, we turn to the major leagues’ biggest toddler of them all, Joe West. Because of course.