I am pissed on way too many nerdy levels that they didn't name her Artemesia.

This "update" isn't even close to sufficient. An update is appropriate when the author gets a detail wrong or when additional information comes to light after posting. In contrast, this article is completely false, and smears a person for having done something she didn't actually do. The article should be…

Shouldn't Jezebel just take this whole post down? It's embarrassing.

Um...your "update" should be at the top of the page in bold, or you should just take this story down all together. This is embarrassing.

Stand by. There's a possibility this whole thing could have been made up by an unfunny Onion rip off.

Yeah, I put on my "Internet Commenting Cap" and went posting, then I looked at the source....oh Jezebel, could you guys at least PRETEND to put some work into researching your sources?

*breathes huge sigh of relief* Well, now that my blood pressure has dropped I feel silly!

YOU GUYS!! NATIONAL REPORT, YOU GUYS!! YOU GUYS!!

THAT IS A WORD CRIME.

I was working late and I have a meeting to get to. So please, stop chatting and pour my coffee

if they can afford cars, i am paying them too much money.

+100 for the Fawlty Towers reference!

99% of all UK beer (Irish included; please don't firebomb me) taste like hot dog water.

The biggest thing I take away from all this is that the Puppy Bowl is not sufficiently marketed.

Picture unrelated?

Out. Get out. GTFO. Out. You're done. No more Jalopnik for you.