Well, I can't comment on the state of Progressive's homeowner's insurance (although I'm sure it probably sucks pretty hard). But: funny in the sense that your deadpan comment, intentionally or not, obliterated the original post that was trying to be funny.

Homer Simpson invented this beverage, actually.

In the not-too-distant future, after we’ve succeeded in annihilating all life on Earth, these buckets will remain. Aliens will happen upon them, and marvel; the buckets will occupy spaces in the most elegantly curated private museums as priceless relics.

I signed in for the first time in months just to let you know that this is the funniest comment here.

Indeed.

Yeah. I lived in Charlotte for a year, and did plenty o'fearin' for my life, but wherever I go (I live on the Delmarva now), whenever I see that goddamn South Carolina plate, I know I'm about to see something stupid. Holy shit.

Yeah, I've got a car-naming system on lockdown (no hubris whatsoever). Currently, I've got a NC Miata who I've named Kuromaru (either "black circle" or "black perfection" as best as I'm able to tell with my extremely limited Japanese. Whichever is fine with me).

Not at all Euro, but the Pilsner drum that I will beat 'til the cows come home: Bube's in Mt. Joy, PA makes a "Prohibition Pilsner" in the springtime, and it's fucking tits-amazing. (They also make a beautiful oatmeal stout, but that's a little more tangential.)

Actually, this story is pretty decent. So, my in-laws are really cool (i.e., we both love to drink a lot when we get together, occasionally smoke the herb, etc), and we tend to have a great time together. So, we're up visiting them, so I've got time off and I'm cuttin' loose. They live in PA, so whenever we're up…

Please see my comment.

Believe it or not, Golden Monkey is my go-to beer (tripel is my favorite style, and GM, for whatever reason, seems to be easily available on the Delmarva, as opposed to, say, La Fin du Monde). I love that you only need a couple to get you where you need to go. On the rare occasions when I have the time and money to…

Seconded. I'm far from an IPA guy, but I love that beer.

Thanks for the heads-up. No point for me even trying this one.

Hahaha, yep, sounds about right. I know of no other beer that hides the alcohol content so well. Just dangerous. But give an Elf a year of aging, and, man, it is nothing short of glorious.

My gripe: this isn't even the best Troegs seasonal. Mad Elf FTW.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for a rye tripel. It's only a matter of time, right?

Legend FTW.

I am the "he" in this scenario, and the "she" did, in fact, marry me, just not off that bat, so take this with a grain of salt, I guess.

I live on the Delmarva Peninsula, and going VERY slow in the left lane is big here. I personally know many people who just plum love to drive in the left lane, and will move over for faster drivers only to move on back once they've passed. Driving in the 40-50mph range is just what people do, no matter what the…

Jesus H Dicksucking Christ, I LITERALLY cannot wait to order a pineapple, spinach and artichoke pizza and telepathically beam my sublime enjoyment to you as hard as I can. You're right about olives, though.