Imagine getting into this relationship for Botox and Gucci and somehow ending up here. I pity her, to a point.

I don’t know if this fits, but my grandmother implicated me in her lie. She smoked Cool Menthols. Horrible terrible gross cigarettes. Back when I smoked, I was a Marlboro guy, but I had quite for years.

Back in 1971 when I was in 8th grade, I told my parents I was going to an Alice Cooper concert with a friend. When queried about the artist, I responded that “Alice did mellow folk music, like Judy Collins.” The next day, there on the front page of the Houston Post, was a pic of Alice in full makeup, shirtless,…

Yeah, Clinton is the shady in waiting to the queen.

“You like soup? I bet you like soup.”

This is less scary and just paranormal..

I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that the people quoted have the last name Nfinger.

Leave the mental qualities of much of the flying public out of this. They aren’t nuts. They are just the other half that balances ‘above average.’

During an election season pelvic exam a few years ago, my gyno said of my uterus, “Hm, you seem to be leaning a little to the right.” The phrasing startled me and I blurted out, “Well, that’s the only part of me that does!” And that’s how I ended up having a political discussion with my doctor while she was wrist deep…

I agree that we need opposition parties. I disagree that the current GOP is the way to go. In my wildest dreams the GOP takes the long view, and uses this as an opportunity. If they were to do everything they can to stab the rancid base in the back, if they can literally alienate them as hard as possible there’s a…

seriously internet can we get a vine of the baby mouse on the vine?

Do you think maybe some people say they are undecided because 1. They like the attention and feel smart or 2. Do not want to admit who they are voting for. I can see, if he comes from a conservative area and a conservative family, it could be really, really hard to come out and say you support Clinton.

Mein Kampf

Glitzy Vegas vacations?

Yeah, I’m old compared to the kids these days. But my personal, general test for if a model is beyond the crop of instagram, wealthy family mediocrity we currently have is “Would this model fit in doing the Freedom 90 music video?” If you can’t move and own the camera the way those models did, then yeah, I’m not…

No. Artists create art for people to enjoy. Beyond that they don’t owe people shit.

My wife has an extensive dildo collection. When we first started dating (early 20s) she would wash them in the kitchen and just keep them in the drying rack. I said “you know, why don’t you dry them in the tub behind the curtain or something”. She said “cause nobody visits my apartment but you”. Fast forward a few…

This fucking loser is an American citizen trying to kill people in the country that took him in, gave him citizenship, and provided him with opportunity. Here’s where everyone comes out to equate America with all the other horrible evils in the world. Yes, America has systemic, terrible problems, and questionable…

Please don’t let it be Tom Hanks, which was the name that sprung to my mind. I’d die inside.

Waiting for Angel...