Houston is truly, genuinely awful, I’m sorry to say. It actively smells like sewage all summer (and the summers are about 10 months long), no one there can drive literally at all, and the no-zoning “let’s build another highway circle around it” genius-level city planning makes the driving even worse.

I said “city,” not “crime scene.”

Yeah, I find it weird to compare the victims to Bill Clinton. Bill was the one under fire.

There’s a solid chance he’ll be found not guilty owing to reasonable doubt but he faces another trial later this year for conduct specifically while working at CBC so with any luck the prosecution learns from its mistakes here and strings him up in that one. Regardless, his professional career is about done.

For the multi-generationally poor, there are only 2 luxuries available to them in life: comfort food, and sex.

“I believe God was standing with me and that’s just my religious belief.”

deputy clerk Debbie Allen is an abomination .

“It was that last, lean and mean chop that got us to a place where Fox was willing to make it,” Reese said. “The script was very efficient and not too long. That was a function of budget more than anything, but I think it really made the movie pace nicely.”

there seem to be genuine lessons to learn from their story. Wondering what you are objecting to.

He's hung like an elevator button.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!!?!?! THAT IS SO HUGE AND MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!!!

Straight to hell.

Nope, I’m betting his is an innie. Please consider the cameltoe as shown below. This person definitely suffers from buried penis syndrome.

When it gets too hot for the comforter, you kick it off and just have the sheet on you. THAT is what it’s for!

I don’t even feel bad. I worked so hard to convince him it was a bad idea. If he wants to go ahead with it after that, everything that follows is on him.

If my (nonexistent) boyfriend got me a cream to make my ass and my boobs bigger for Valentines Day, I would seriously reconsider the relationship. Nothing says romance like, “Your ass and tits could use a little work, babe.” Is this why I’m single? If so, I’ll keep it that way.

Great suggestion, Kylie! You guys, wouldn’t it be great to receive some PureLeef butt and boobie enhancement cream as a gift this Valentine’s Day? That would be not weird at all and would surely lead to a harmonious evening.

The Puritan Backroom is also the name of my Salem Witch Hunt-themed gay sex dungeon.

“Nooooo,” she replies. “I made and created a show that my family was all on board with, and we were so excited because we got to work together.”

This was the best moment of the game, hands down. DEAD-EYED ELI STARE.