I think discussions about the limitations of your monogamy are not out of line. Clearly you have already anticipated that there would be situations in which you cannot be monogamous. It is worth mentioning before you commit to someone who may not be okay with that. You dont have to cover the minute details of each…

Yes, there is no winning in that scenario. Like, it’s almost as though prioritizing sex over honesty is selfish and wrong. If only there were some other option, like discussing the limits of your monogamy with your partner before you commit to one another. Haha crazy talk right?

Sure, ONLY YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE THAT FOR YOUR PARTNER.

There is really no use in quoting Savage to me as I find his views on the topic reprehensible.

So we either need therapy or cheating?

I’m genuinely sad for you that you so staunchly believe lying, sex, drinking, or drugs are your only methods for getting through life. You deserve better.

Sorry, but there are methods of coping that don’t involve deceptive or destructive behavior. Lying is never okay. It’s spectacularly selfish to think this is justified. You don't get to decide for someone else what realities they face. Perhaps the reality that their partner is a selfish liar would be preferable to the…

In fact I have been a partner’s caretaker, which is why I cannot for the life of me understand how someone could treat their ailing partner with such disrespect, to prioritize sex over honesty to the point that you’d cheat and then heap insult upon injury by acting like you were doing your partner some kind of favor.…

If this seems like a reasonable thing to you, don't enter into monogamous relationships. It's not that complicated.

The problem is in thinking those are the only possible scenarios. If getting off no matter what your partner is going through is so important to you, it should be part of your discussion when you map the lines of your relationship at the start of your commitment. Just be up front about it so they can decide whether…

If your partner gave you permission to cheat and asks you to keep it to yourself if you do, that’s one thing, but you don’t get to make that decision for them! JFC why is that so hard to understand? You getting off is not more important than your partner’s agency in the relationship.

No, I think you should be a fucking grown up and have a little respect for your life partner because getting off is not more important than your partner’s dignity. You are really so entitled you think your access to sex is worth more than being honest with your partner? The choices aren’t cheat or leave. There is a…

Yes honesty is a big problem isn't it? It is such a problem having to be honest with your life partner.

Cheating on an ill partner, what great advice. Dan Savage, wow! What a guy!

Dan Savage is a complete asshole. He hardly speaks for everyone's sexuality.

...Yes I know. That's been my point.

We agree that US higher education is not made better by its current system. My objection to your comments is and has always been that your view isn’t applicable to Saudi women and their pursuit of higher education specifically, and more broadly that education for its own sake is worthwhile but the US system makes that…

Ok well i hope you feel better now. I have been posting from my phone so punctuation and autocorrect don't always default to the right word. As this is not an academic paper, im not that worried about it. But clearly you are so, thanks for your magnanimous correction. My argument is so much stronger for it.

Except it isn’t because those social services aren’t commodified.

And why are schools run like businesses? Because people think that education is a product to be purchased, exactly as you've been discussing it here.