We don’t give a fuck about your pathetic need to plan things in advance. We will expose your weaknesses with our Volvos and our patchouli fragrance will unroot all that you hold dear. See you there, assholes.

I’ll send him your way when I’m done. Bubba loves to watch grown men cry.

And on the 8th day, he created Driver, a flawless human specimen, incapable of poor choices and never put in situations that might lead to poor choices. And seemingly lacking in understanding, empathy, and probably compassion.

Food trailers are on their way way out, other than events like SX. I’ve seen the evolution of the city within the 10 years that I’ve been here. Now I drink at home in my underwear 3 days a week, and make my own fucking tacos.

If there is not battle to the near death using scraps of the unholiest of food trailers and weapons crafted from the fallen mustaches of hammered hipsters I will be most disappointed. If there is I'll shave my mustache.

I never drive faster than I can see and besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.

Don’t be so hard on yourself! More fetishes, more fun! Um...yeah, I’m normal too

More cars without engine covers pleeeaase. We need more naked motors! Actually, someone should make a naked motor calendar. I’ll buy.

I’ve never been with an Abarth fangirl in any position. I’m probably missing out.

It’s ugly, but sexy ugly like only Alfa can do. Like 11am strippers.

I have zero cupholders and 2 ashtrays. 80s priorities. Also a place that perfectly fits a pack of cigs. Or a small mirror...you know, for 80s priorities.

I like her. Is she trying to figure out the touch screen? I like her.

Goddamn girlfriends.

Very excited about the re-erection of these weird classic cars and my weird car boners for them. Can never have too many car boners.

Yes, because of priceless 80s hard on

Aren’t all Chevettes scary? They are for me, almost died in one when daddy dearest rolled his down a snowy Kentucky mountain.

Sweet mother Mary, this makes me harder than a sixth grade boy at his first youth group lock-in. More like this.

Here’s a pic of mid backflip the other night in Austin. Broke a strut and lost a wheel while landing. Just imagine seeing the ground rotate like that from the cockpit of that thing.

Want to say NP, but just can’t due to mods. You can find a more original example for not much more