DAMMIT!

A DESTINATION ISN'T A CATCH-PHRASE! USE AWAY, SHARKE!

WELL, LUPICA IS THINNER, SHORTER, MORE WEASILY THAN THE TWO OTHER MIKES WITH HORRIBLE VOICES, BUT THAT DOESN'T DISCOUNT THE THEORY THAT HE'S THE ORIGINAL AND THE OTHER TWO ARE SKIN SUITS THAT HE WEARS TO APPEAR EVEN BIGGER!

Ground n' Pound is for closers!

I WOULD!

BUT THEY CARED LAST YEAR! WHAT HAPPENED?!

YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART, WARREN!

YOU WARNED ME, BUT I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY LOVE FOR THE JETS!

I READ AN ARTICLE — PROBABLY MORE OF AN OPINION PIECE, REALLY — SAYING THE TIME MAY BE UP FOR SEXY REXY UP IN BUFFALO! IT DOESN'T LOOK AS DIRE FOR HIM NOW AS IT DID IN SAY, WEEK 4, BUT THAT'S REX'S STYLE: ALL SURPRISES, LITTLE RESULTS!

DANCING INTO THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, WE ALL ARE!

WHY IS IT THAT EVERY SPORTS SHOW HOST IN THE NYC RADIO MARKET IS NAMED MIKE?!

SITTIN' PETTY IS MORE LIKE IT!

On the bright side: Pryor, man. Damn. That should be the story of the year.

Every year:

MY FRIEND PUT IT TO ME THIS WAY: TODD BOWLES HAS AN INCREDIBLE KNOWLEDGE OF THE GAME THAT HE'S CAPABLE OF SEEING PLAYS ROLL-OUT IN HIS MIND BEFORE THE BALL'S EVEN SNAPPED! BUT HE'S NOT CAPABLE OF COMMUNICATING THIS KNOWLEDGE, AND HOW TO USE IT, TO HIS PLAYERS!

I never thought I'd ever see a time where the Niners and the Browns are in a race for the bottom.

JETSIER MOVE?!

I don't plan on having more than two kids, but if there were a third, I imagine we'll go with whatever's popular that year.

My theory is, the first child will always turn out OK. It's the second/middle child that needs help re-enforcing some self-confidence. So I imagine a name like Super Fly will pigeon-hole them either for a life of amazing skills on the court or the mic, immense popularity, and inherent coolness.

THANK YOU FOR CONSIDERING ME YOUR FAVORITE UNCLE!