You were doing the lord's work, Cap. Ron.

1) Pet Symmetry wins for 'Most Likely to Also Be a Trivia Night Team Name.'

Oh, you!

I can't look at my own hands now, thanks to the design they went with.

What kind of shithead brother is this?! Who the hell does he think he is to say or think anything at all about whom his brother marries?

Other than the fact that I rarely go diving into the F section of any store, no, I've never come across a copy of Rumors or Comes Alive in the recent arrivals section of the used bins.

Some people just like hanging on to their records, I guess.

Surprisingly enough, I've never come across a single copy of Frampton Comes Alive! in a shop.

I don't know what that means, but I've enjoyed every minute I spent in a record shop.

I have more records than him.

That's cold.

Well then you're not coming to Cold Stone with the rest of us, then.

Because you're not Chris Pratt, nor are you Jennifer Lawrence.

Bothered to get married? I'm sure it's a rich revenge fantasy — finally being rewarded for their repulsive behavior that has resulted in their isolation from polite society.

Fuck you, that hat is awesome.

Dick Clark, the world's oldest teenager?

I imagine a single annoying name, with unnecessary punctuation.

Under 35.

If you find one — perhaps in a collection of a relative's box of old comics, or at the dentist's office, something — they can be some real nice comfort food.

Of all those choices, why Brian Cranston as Sanders?