I'll have you know that sometimes chess players are beautiful, tall, Russian mathematics students, with striking Eurasian features, named Lilya.

Adjective: explosive
Noun: Princess Diana

"Clutch" is a slang word for dildo?! Or are the not meant to be interpreted as being respective to one another?

And to fully participate in the joke, you have to shell out $20. Nice one, hipster marketers!

The same can also be said of chess.

"Cards Against Womanity", surely?

And then dunk my auto-correcting phone in it.

Thanks! I'm going to tie it around my forehead and pretend that I'm in a 70's king foo exploitation movie!

…but does he know anything?… and has anyone made this joke yet?…

"Wow, Dr. Thompson! You sure are the coolest substitute English teacher ever!"

Suicide Squad 2: Poisoned Chalice

"That's hard to do!"
-Mike Nelson, Episode 1008 Final Justice

Huh. There I was thinking that Kinja was an ugly interface…

I thought he used stunt parts in Boogie Nights?

Why not piss everyone off, and hire a Mizrahi Jew?

How hard is it to find a heavily-closeted, Middle-Eastern, song-and-dance man?! Surely at least one person in the comments section knows someone like that.

Finally. A movie which shamelessly panders to my demographic!

Their sex would be better if they didn't try to do it through that stone pillar…

I'm not disagreeing with you, but my cynicism is more rooted in the fact that the moneyed interests of the party which is supposed to be morally outraged by inequality sabotaged him before we could ever even get there.

What, no Crow reading Mrs. Forester from that dirty romance book?