Britney with Steve's eyes looks like Christopher Walken. I like her better this way.

Sometimes the practical solution isn't the best one. Maybe you just want to get on with it and graduate. Maybe you're just done with school.

You can do it in your car. It's your space. Now, if someone you were giving a ride to did it....yuck.

Monica Lewinsky ruined ranch dressing as anything other than jizz.

I agree. Not the grossest thing I've seen in a public bathroom by a long shot. It wouldn't have stayed in my mind long enough to mention it in a phone call to my sister ten minutes later (never mind writing a blog post of high dudgeon).

With poo or pee, you can tell yourself a child left it. With blood, you have to face the fact that it was a cognizant being.

Wasn't there a story on Jezebel a year or so ago about a tampon terrorist at one of the Conde Nast magazine offices? She would leave her used tampons in the hallways, and everyone was completely horrified; they were thinking of installing security cameras or something? I'd love to know the psychological source of this…

Okay, you are a good friend, but I just do not get this. How could your friend not have stuck her hand up there and squeezed the cup in its entirety and worked it out?

My first thought is that it's the bike courier sneaking into the women's bathroom, masturbating in a stall, and leaving his jizz there for someone to sit on (and which he can fantasize about later....aaaand repeat). I used to work in an office where a bike courier would sneak into the women's bathroom and leave…

No! Lab tech, right?! ...researcher?

Hahahaha: "food groups"!

You're confusing incidental DNA distribution (hair flicking) with purposeful DNA distribution (nail clipping, spitting). Of course, the lowest category is malicious DNA distribution (smearing your shit on other people's property).

Yeah, no kidding: I'm more like a guy because all women are bitches because they're jealous that I'm so pretty to all guys.

Both pictures look photoshopped to me.

Liam Neeson's head behind JanJones is fucking huge. What if his head was really that big? Oh, jeez, I have to stop smoking weed.

And Richard Gere killed him!! He killed him!!!

I don't like burping. I hate spitting. Farting...I hate, but only if other people do it.

Yeesh, and he's a fucking priest on top of it.

Don't get me started about people who don't pick up their dog's shit.

...or that men cheat only for sex.