That’s only part of it, and in the case of Iran in 1954, you’re right. But that’s one shallow analysis. Let’s not forget that the founding of Israel led to a situation where most of the region’s Arab countries drifted closer to the Soviets than to the US, especially Syria, which is currently the only place outside of…

“Do you need a lesson about Toronto?” sounds like a good line from which to launch into a four-minute tribute-in-rhyme to the city. Maybe there’s a rapper out there who already done that, though.

An enormous mansion in a hyper-exclusive gated community in...let’s see...Toronto? NOW THAT’S HIP-HOP!

Remember that time that Macklemore — probably accidentally — wore a plastic “Rabbi nose” instead of the more acceptable “Groucho Nose” onstage and Jonah Hill tweeted something like, “First you pretend you’re a rapper, and now you pretend you’re a Jew?” at him. Good times, those. 

This, unfortunately. A lot of people treat this as a one-or-the-other choice, but that’s ridiculously ahistorical. The list of US allies in the Middle East has always been short, and Israel has been on it since 1947. It’d be difficult to just toss that out of a window whatever they did this year in Gaza.

Oooh, look who’s being a contrarian ed--, you know, never mind. 

So, Snoop Dogg is in the Garfield movie? Don’t they check IDs around here anymore? 

I feel ashamed for doing this, but...

To paraphrase, “a cult is something too small to be a minority.” 

“Charlie’s Chuckle Hutt?” Is that, like, a fat space beast with a sense of humor? I hope the new owners hire a proofreader. 

He went real-deal bald without anyone noticing!

Does this mean that Billy’s given up fancy coffee shops and pretentious art rock? The man’s the closest thing we have to Two-Face. It’s just a shame I wasn’t a fan of the Pumpkins and don’t care about wrestling, so I think that both of his faces are kind of boring. At least his love for our yowliest animal companion,…

Less time in hell, more time in purgatory. 

Your sister dresses a whole lot Hozier than she did before, but, well, I hear that she’s earned it.

Idris Elba, Christopher Lloyd and a bunch of other recognizable-if-not-above-the-title names are in a Sonic the Hedgehog spinoff movie, of all things? What the heck happened? Did everyone in Malibu suddenly owe money to the same bookie, or what?

You’re not wrong there if what’s being said is so blatantly racist that any decent human being can see that it shouldn’t be on a stage. 

I’m with you on this: it’s one thing to find something unacceptably offensive in any context and another thing to think that you’re rushing to the defense of a group that you don’t think can articulate their own thoughts. But after a couple of decades of what sounds like pretty standard right-wing jackassery, I’ve…

I don’t get high, but every time I see a story like this, I can’t help but think, “Aw, someone’s weekend just got ruined!”

Oh, I forgot that Henson was involved! I always think of it as a lost cousin to “Rosanne,” which I have no real feelings about but has its own set of fans. 

I’ve never even heard of this before, but it’s awful. I thought that cocaine was difficult to come by in that part of the world!