Next week looks hilarious - two bitches going to shade the shit out of the uptight Murder House ghosts.

I’d squeeze in Hotel if you can first, because there’s some lovely payoff for that series too.

“Testing reveals that LaCroix contains a number of artificial ingredients, including linalool, which is used in cockroach insecticide.”

But spaghetti squash is always vaguely spaghetti-like. Do you mean when they go at a butternut squash with a fork and fake the texture of a spaghetti squash?

Spaghetti squash is delicious, and a real pasta equivalent... if the kitchen actually knows how to season it.

I’ve been to a few restaurants like this where I’ve thought “God damn, if they had a middle-aged black woman in that kitchen, this place could be excellent”.

Dumbledore being gay wasn’t explicit, but it wasn’t exactly an obscure reading of Deathly Hallows.

I think The Rules of Attraction is a genuinely clever book and film...

(also, not uncoincidentally, his sole book without gratuitous rape and violence)

I live in a normal country with a normal healthcare system, bust surely the US has standard vaccinations that are effectively mandatory (therefore with free options)?

I sat behind Prince Eugenie on an economy flight and watched her eat what I think was a cheese and pickle sandwich.

We could all chip in a dollar and set up The Jezebel Museum of Fairies.

Yes, they basically inverted overnight.

He should just fake a heart attack and retire as a safe route out.

That seems... incredibly cheap for something so iconic in the history of photography and hoaxes?

But his fuckery has suddenly lurched to such extremes, I can’t see it being fuelled by anything but blackmail.

Brewskis with two of the people named at the rape scene, Brett?

I come from a long and fruity line of Poots.

I live to serve :)

What a lovely expression the statue has captured.

In the UK, people who have soley indoor cats are viewed as likely serial killers.

The live performance on Graham Norton is one of the most magical and entrancing things I’ve ever seen on late night TV.