Let’s all take a moment to remember how cute her old face was. She even had a sprinkle of freckles before managing to contour herself orange.

my favorite dumb blonde joke response is from national treasure dolly parton. when asked if dumb blonde jokes bother her, dolly said, not at all. cause first, i know i’m not dumb, and second, i know i’m not blonde.

Easy to remember tip

This hair is so bad. How can someone have so much money and so many fashion & beauty resources and such bad hair. Why.

I’m definitely not afraid of looking my age - but I am afraid of looking afraid to look my age.

She’s ageing 5 years every 6 months, how is that even possible??

I bet those are people that don’t go to the school, but live in the area and came to hear him speak.

The girl next to her is wondering if Obama is invading her home State of Texas right this minute while Bernie distracts them!!

Understandable, he was dreamy

CHRIST these passwords. The last time I had such a stupid password was when I was 14, and it was “ilovematt”. (I loved Matt.)

ishouldnotbedoingthis

this girl is not listening, but is instead trying to reconcile her love of Dr. Ben Carson with her fear of black people

these passwords are so fucking insecure I can’t stand it

This may qualify more as holy than sacriligeous. I spent part of my childhood in West Virginia, and our town had a little monument to Robert E. Lee. Supposedly it was the place where he first saw his horse, although that’s the kind of story that could easily be a local myth.

Several halloweens ago, I was at a house party with a few friends and lots of people I didn’t know. I walked into the bathroom and walked right in on a nun giving a BJ to Jesus while he was drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cig.

I have no memory of this, but apparently I once ran up to the altar and made off with the communion bread when I was really young.

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.