Personally, my reaction is “OMG THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD YOU SAY!” then laugh obnoxiously loud for a good minute to make the shame really sink in, then lecture about why they are so wrong and stupid.

The kid was upset with the floaties and that’s because kids are 80% sociopaths at that age. The mother placated her daughter about the floaty and then her voice went really empathetic when the bear was doing something dangerous (eating the chlorine), but what’s the mother supposed to do? Throw herself in the middle of…

I’m sure that at the time, this was a horrifying and awful event - but you have to admit, when you read that paragraph out loud, that’s goddamn HILARIOUS. Your whole family got pinked by a single bear, just doing it’s thing.

Do bears shit in the woods?

Bears are like “bitch, get out of my neighborhood. No? Prepare for the shitty consequences.”

Bears are gonna bear. But a brother who cries over potato chips is simply priceless.

I’m inviting all of you bear-people for a drinking weekend at our cabin. This is looking out the living room window:

I was expecting cops to barrel roll into the frame to arrest these bears who are not from this neighborhood and shouldn’t be using this pool

How are they fucking up nature any more than the rest of us who live in it? Should people just not have chlorinated pools on the off chance an animal will get into it?

I need that rule for my apartment, and I’m in my 30s.

Kids are weird. My niece gets jealous if the cat plays with her toys.

I am this girl. All you like bears because you don’t know bears: when I was 8 my dad took us to Yellowstone and a bear ate my doll and my little brother’s bag of chips and then we spent all night trying to calm him down (he was six and he loved potato chips) and then a bear came and shit in our tent. I kid you not we…

+1! While I was watching this, I could hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “That’s why we put things away when we’re done with them,” in a very smug tone. Finally, she’d think, the bears have come to prove me right.

That’s right, she should have sensed that trouble was bruin.

A single mother of 5 just wants to relax at the pool for a day, is that too much to ask, little girl? Chill.

To be fair, tho, how hard is it to get a goddamned bowl of porridge the right temperature?

That wretched child’s mother is a ray of sunshine, compared to her daughter. I can ALMOST hear her glee over the bears in the pool and the distress it’s causing her family.

If the little brat had put her toys away, the bear wouldn’t be eating her Bubble Guppy car...

It sounds like two separate slang terms that are being conflated. Maybe VF and HP were just excited because they heard a slang word used in a different context and they thought they might know what it meant.

Whoa whoa whoa, so we’re saying language has been around WAY before someone rich and white wrote it down? I’m not sure I can handle this shocking fact!