The summer of free Big Macs and fries. I remember it well.

A lot of people on Jezebel love to criticize me for not being an avid Hillary supporter. I will vote for her because she isn't Trump, that doesn't mean she was my first choice. But the reason I don't trust her is that she always seemed willing to let other women's lives be destroyed by her husband so she could advance…

You can get hyper analytical, but it seems pretty clear that Bill has mistreated women for a long time and Hillary has done her best to be part of the machine that keeps him clean enough (and in the process rolling over those women) that they can accomplish their political goals in spite of his behavior.

Seems a little weird/creepy to me.

It’s “Pokemans”

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…

Pokemon Go! - “I hope you like Pidgeys!”

i get it, it takes a lot of work to get the necessary materials for progress, but if i run into any more zubat i will fucking kill a stranger

Ryan Reynolds is the person in that pic with the most gravitas, who is obviously cringing inside at being a part of this.

OMG, Ryan Reynolds’ face in that picture.

BUT PLEASE BRING ME A JUICE BOX, MY THROAT IS PARCHED FROM ALL OF THE FIGHTING.

“Who are you talking to?” and older woman’s voice shouted worriedly from the background.

Having worked in zoos for 7 years in my life, and having personally known Stacey, maybe I can add some of my own experience.

Seriously, I’ve been watching too much House of Cards and I’m scared someone’s gonna Frank Underwood this national treasure.

According to him, this had it’s benefits. He got invited to all the cool parties by upperclassmen because they felt bad for him (and I expect because he was entertaining as hell on the subject). Also the girls in the dorm would come to him to come to him to complain about Cruz creepily lurking outside their rooms in a…

No, implying that the dildo was on top of the pillow not underneath. Ted is the dildo in this statement.

I would settle for a regular appearance on Samantha Bee’s Full Frontal.

Between his stance on abortion and this position on dildos Cruz is dangerously underestimating the trollop voting bloc. I really want to make bumper stickers that say “I’m an irredeemable slut, and I vote.”

Literally the only good thing about Cruz’s candidacy has been this guy.

Oh, please let it be soon.