I feel like we’ve come full circle and the kids these days think smoking is cool again? I don’t know. I am an old.

I was on the Metro last summer and a gentleman got on and sat in a seat very close, but perpendicular to me. He appeared to be military...great shape, in a pair of khaki shorts and a polo shirt (very respectable) and carrying what appeared to be a gym bag. He could have just stepped out of the shower into fresh…

“Jon Hamm’s penis is about the size of an obese hamster.”

“More than a year after his death in Chanhassen, Minnesota...”

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

Can you imagine being so morally bankrupt as being paid to lobby against laws that would be of benefit to victims of childhood sexual abuse? You’re working on behalf of monsters who destroy entire lives.

Two things.

I like Will Smith as an actor. My concern is the genie is a bit crazy, whimsical and lovable all at the same time. I’m not sure I can picture Will pulling that character off.

Let me tell you, I can grow hair anywhere and I only run if a bear is chasing me. And then only about 10 feet, because that’s how long it would take to catch me.

If a uterus is out of place, you can just lure it back with sweet aromas. We can thank the ancient Greeks for that cure.

I think every woman has been harassed while running. Literally the only thing that I have found that stops men from harassing me is if I run with my pit bull. Yesterday, it was too hot for my dog to run, and I was catcalled by a fucking cop.

And just...savor this quote from the director of the association running the Boston Marathon:

There are two mammalian species known for this level of bullying the females - humans and chimpanzees.

That’s some 5 year old toddler “I don’t wanna share my toys” temper tantrums in a grown man.

It was, and still is, inexcusable behavior.

1967, male sports officials believed the strain of long distance running “would cause women’s uteri to fall out or that they would become musclebound and grow hair on their chests.

In the middle of the race, Semple tried to shove Switzer and physically pull her out. “He was pulling at me and screaming, ‘Get the hell out of my race and give me that number,’” Switzer told Deadspin in 2015. “Arnie was screaming at Jock, and then Tom smashed Jock out of the way.”