(Would have been funnier without the disclaimer.)

I see that Joe Blevins broke into Sean O'Neal's liquor cabinet.

Ripped? I thought the douche was wrapped.

Where exactly can I get this soap?

I once got a lap dance in Atlanta from a lovely young woman named Simpsonia.

Chris Christie only has pork chops, not comedic ones.

Simpsons stopped being relevant after season nine. But we'll give it a pass this time.

Nothing to figure out. It's just disqus being disqus.

They're not chicks. They're broads.

Speak for yourself. I'd take a John Candy sequel of any kind at this point.

Or to stay slightly pop culture-relevant, Comedy Frozen in Carbonite Jerry.

How wild.

They should have offered a reward if they really wanted to find out who let the dog out.

Don't forget the smidge of achy breaky heart. It's the secret ingredient that makes it all possible!

Doesn't he know that they make medication nowadays to fix that soft bulletin?

Dammit, didn't read down far enough.

Japan's top porn scientists are already on the case.

Congrats!

Word up.

Ronnie James Dio was a holy diver.