Because Liberal women practice witchcraft and eat their aborted fetuses, DER!

And of course, there was deep introspection from the GOP about how a family values Senator would turn out to be a sex trafficking pedophile, resulting in selection reform, a zero tolerance approach to sexual harassment, and an apology from the heads of the party for the rank hypocrisy of its law makers...

I’m kind of hung up on the bill banning consumption of aborted human fetuses.

I think many of them would rather blow their own brains out than live as a hard-working poor with no hope.

If only these repressed bean bag chairs in khakis would live the lives they try to deprive others of.

I met an Aussie couple in Cancun in September. I told the woman I didn’t want to go to Australia because everything wants to kill you. She laughed about the silly way Australia is portrayed in the U.S. but I see the truth.

These guys are pretty harmless. I’d be more worried about the poisonous spiders like the redbacks and funnel webs. Not to mention all the other homicidal creatures, like snakes, jellyfish, sharks and crocodiles...

This is why I am NEVER going to Australia! Every time I see a news story about spiders it is always Australia. No thanks, mate!

In 1989, my godmother was taking a shower, when she looked up and saw a huntsman spider roughly the size of a dinner plate right above her head. She thought, ‘no worries, I will just calmly and quietly finish up this shower before he has a chance to move.’ Right at that moment, the Newcastle earthquake stuck, rattling…

I wonder how many car accidents in Australia are caused by goddamn clock spiders making their presence known to the driver while the car is in motion.

Now there’s a fun exercise - what’s a name that would destroy a sizable part of your world?

I just feel like if Obama was up to this, it would have come out long ago.

Six months ago, I’d say no way. Now? Nothing surprises me.

No, oh my god no. He and Tom Hanks would fucking murder my soul.

................just leave me obama ok? dont know what i’d do if i found out he was a predator

Oh nooooo, please!!! I love John Oliver so much. I hope he’s never done anything horrible.

you just don’t understand how alluring a 75 year old flaccid penis is to women.

This just made me think, “Oh, no, I hope John Oliver hasn’t done anything, but he probably has!”. At least Samantha Bee probably hasn’t sexually harassed anyone. I hope.

When has a guy ever let a woman know he genuinely cares about by springing out at her naked? It doesn’t happen. This isn’t about seduction. It’s about mistaking someone’s powerlessness in a situation for his own sexual prowess. It’s abusive and pathetic.

John Oliver’s segment on Charlie Rose’s on-set creepiness just took on a whole new meaning...