Several reasons:

I think he’ll step into the kitchen.

This is 21st century America. We’ll eat all the shit, get angry for a few minutes, get distracted, and ask for another helping.

I had a bad feeling about that Rottweiler in the tux, too. And I think that Spot and I both know what’s up with that Rottweiler.

White Sox dogs are the best dogs.

Things I wish if learned early:

Better idea. Turn off the tv. And the internet. Take up a hobby.

Ryan Howard should find Jesus. Couldn’t hurt to turn white,either.

...the Mets looooong Ryan Howard experiment...

*takes more notes*

Are they?

THIS.

Reading these makes me want bourbon.

THis is a great point. I can get floor mats to protect my floors, but no seat mats?!

I want that.

Are those dog names or the street names of the cocaine they were snorting?

In fairness, they serve pure Columbian yayo at all the cafeterias on campus. It comes out of the froyo dispensers because Miami.

Just think what would happen if they tested for meth!!!

Didn’t these dogs watch scarface?

Radium is a tremendous element, it’s doing great things! - Donald Trump.