It’s not a prophecy until we vote in Terry Crews as President. ;-)

Yep. I’m sitting in the rocking chair between Rubber Duck and Pig Pen.

Yay, Florida wins again! :-\

But did you learn anything from those two incidents? I feel like you did.

Can I glue a few auto airbags to my front bumper? You know, to protect the pedestrians?

If you want to know the real reason, go watch Idiocracy right now. It explains everything.

I don’t even know what a “donkey punch” is, but it sounds like a good penalty for being an entitled, inconsiderate ass.

We’re eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin’.

The 70s... I was a kid and couldn’t drive yet, but my brother went through several CB radios. Think tiny, gray Honda Civic with a ridiculously tall steel whip antenna bolted to the rear bumper.

Exactly! A jillion stars for you! When I am driving, I assume that all of the other drivers are drunken, stoned, coked up, idiot crackhead heroin addled freaks who are texting while talking on their cell phone while messing with the touchscreen on the dash on their very first day of driving.

And all this time I thought unicorn farts were made out of Skittles. Taste The Rainbow!

I’m not so good with handling my own money. Give me the five grand a month in perpetuity, assignable to my heirs or designees upon my death and I’m good. A dependable monthly income is far more valuable than a lump to me.

Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.

I have told people that they are not really married until they share one account. I have also focused on making sure that Mrs. Wookie has full access to everything. All computer passwords, banking logins, how much routine monthly bills are, exactly when and how much our direct deposits are and so on. Her dad passed…

I think we’re all forgetting the real problem with health insurance. It is a for-profit business. Take in more than you pay out in claims. Mrs. Woolie received a letter this week informing her that the non-generic injectable diabetic medication that works well for her will no longer be covered as of April 1 2017.…

My apologies, Canada. We’ve infected you with our political correctness.

Udo is awesome. This is exactly the type of movie we love. Udo has skills.

I’ve loaded Cloudready OS on a ten year old desktop. Pretty great! Of course, you’ve got to have an internet connection, since you’re turning an old desktop into a Chromebox. Oh yeah, it’s free for home use.

Computer guys, 50 bucks. Bamboo case, 200 bucks. No electricity in my village? Awshit.

I’m still trying to find someone to sell me old fashioned land line service and/or DSL after six months in our new Evil Headquarters. We are located in a secret, remote, undisclosed location. The house was built in 1978 and we purchased it from the original owner. She never had internet access or cable TV here.