Exactly! A jillion stars for you! When I am driving, I assume that all of the other drivers are drunken, stoned, coked up, idiot crackhead heroin addled freaks who are texting while talking on their cell phone while messing with the touchscreen on the dash on their very first day of driving.

I’m not so good with handling my own money. Give me the five grand a month in perpetuity, assignable to my heirs or designees upon my death and I’m good. A dependable monthly income is far more valuable than a lump to me.

Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.

I have told people that they are not really married until they share one account. I have also focused on making sure that Mrs. Wookie has full access to everything. All computer passwords, banking logins, how much routine monthly bills are, exactly when and how much our direct deposits are and so on. Her dad passed…

I think we’re all forgetting the real problem with health insurance. It is a for-profit business. Take in more than you pay out in claims. Mrs. Woolie received a letter this week informing her that the non-generic injectable diabetic medication that works well for her will no longer be covered as of April 1 2017.…

My apologies, Canada. We’ve infected you with our political correctness.

Mrs. Wookie recently bought me a lovely maul. I named it Darth, of course. Sledge head on one side and axe type head on the opposite. Less than 20 bucks on sale at Walmart. I’ve got a stack of old drives to kill. It’s CLOBBERIN’ TIME !!!

Thanks! Now I understand why I hate carrots so much.

I still hate that dog.

But is there PURPLE glitter paint available? Mrs. Wookie wants to know.

For more possum (and other animal) fun, I’d recommend watching Over The Hedge if you have not seen it.

Yes. The amount of work that you put into maintaining a poly relationship is much greater than a one to one relationship. Even traditional heterosexual couples do not understand that they must make time to talk. Relationships of the long term variety require maintenance and effort to be successful.

What did ewe say?

I agree, but still prefer the old fashioned sound of a hardwood bat against skull bone. I find the “whack” sound more personally satisfying than the “dink “ aluminum bats make. If one must beat many with a baseball bat , then definitely aluminum is called for due to it’s long term durability.

30 years ago, this would have been a single Polaroid passed around dudebros. Thanks to the internet, hundreds or perhaps thousands of women have seen this dirty underwear skidmark’s likeness and can avoid him. That makes me happy. Some of us males have put a lot of effort into NOT being irresponsible drunken caveman…

It’s that internal brain disconnect from logic that allows us to get the job done under extreme stress. You’d probably make a great soldier. ;)

Oouucchh.

What do you call a cow with four broken legs?

You’ve learned where the phrase “playing possum “ comes from. ;)

You’ve learned where the phrase “playing possum “ comes from. ;)