He literally plays the exact same character in every single movie: bald badass who has to right a wrong/defend a child by brutally destroying the bad guys through cars/guns/fists. And damnit if they aren't all awesome

Listen, lady. It's like when black people call themselves the n word. Years ago I introduced it into my regular vocabulary, having purposefully decided to take the power of the word back. It used to shock people I know, now nobody even bats an eye. So you can lecture all you want about misogyny and such, but if people…

Oh god, no. No. I got that card for my mum once. Oh god. Childhood ruined. RUINED.

What did we JUST learn from Weird Al? Never write words with numbers, unless you're seven or Prince.

This is fucking madness.

Depends which Jesus you're referring to.

Maybe for some. But I really think the anti choice people I know are genuinely concerned about " the babies" that will be murdered. Most of these are women and it's like they are acting on some protective maternal instinct. It totally overrides rational thought. But too bad that instinct doesn't extend to after…

As with any job there are incompetent people. Call centers attract a lot of them for various reasons, but some people just deserve to be yelled at.

Best moment: Teh Goldie not realizing she got a hole in her. "Look at me! I'm soaking wet!!"

When I was planning my birthday party in Vegas, my childhood best friend was dragging her feet about coming on the trip and wouldn't tell me why. Finally, she confessed that she didn't want to come because she was convinced she'd be denied entrance to the club, or even asked to leave once inside, because she is…

Exactly, 15 people is at least a 3 bottle minimum, at $350 a bottle for the cheap stuff that's a pretty fat comp. Essentially comps are paying to fill the tables with attractive people to balance out the "normals" who buy a table. The guy is being an asshole becuse he is not being delicate with the truth: If we are…

I was in Athens for the first time this spring. There are dogs everywhere. It's not a problem or anything, they're all really calm and well behaved. They just hangout wherever pleases them. One of the locals told us that the city makes sure all the strays get food, grooming and medical care and that's why they're…

I am pro-GMO...but I think there is some warrented fear with the use of chemicles like Roundup - especially on bees and birds (Roundup is designed to kill EVERYTHING...*of course* it's going to be toxic toward helpful species too!) One promise of GMO's is LESS need of pesticides - yet Monsanto is using it to breed…

I blame RuPaul. True story: This old tranny that worked the disco in the shithole where I grew up had her kidney stones removed, and they were made of glitter. 30 years of glitter lips. She had them set in gold and turned into earrings.

I appreciate your strong value system and would like to subscribe to the print edition of your newsletter.

I'd straight pee on anyone that asked for it.

That Spaceballs scene is pure genius, including the wibbly wobbly explanation of "now now".

once again I feel like your piece is written for shock and you have zero actual empathy for what's going on. This whole thing should be about the money and unfair compensation. It should have nothing to do with the rule book. Anyone who has a job with a halfway successful business has had an office handbook that…