I haven’t tried this in a while, but here are all of Drew’s capitalized Funbag words in sequence, with punctuation added so it flows better:

It’s funny how everyone just quit at the same time. It’s as if they all thought “No big deal, nothing bad will happen. We don’t need to try anymore.” But then suddenly, all at once it’s like they realized, “Oh my god. This is a disaster. How could we have let this happen?” But try as they might, it was too late. They…

Look at that, a rapist who doesn’t like people forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do. How quaint.

Lester’s getting paid $25 million this year and has put up a 99 ERA+. It shows you where our society’s at right now with all that stuff.

Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

Ranking Mars two spots higher than Venus is just further proof that Petchesky hates women.

I don’t want to publicly litigate every single half truth in these things, because getting into a rock fight on the internet with Deadspin usually leaves no winners

At least now Savage will have more time to tend to his garden.

Maybe, but they’ll be paying full price for tickets.

The only thing she’s ever blown is a 28-3 lead.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t see the need to have boobs in the booth.

Nah. They choked.

“Well, I’m sorry if you just can’t handle a fan of sport making sure the rules are followed, good sir.”, the dickbag says, just before calling the HOA about those infernal children selling their damned lemonade down the street.

Are you kidding me? Of course he does, and like a true winner, he finishes first.

It’s an NBA-style move that’s drawing comparisons to what Sam Hinkie did with The Process in Philadelphia.

She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

Baylor is already inquiring with the NCAA about waiving the one-year waiting period for Olsen so he’ll be able to play in the fall.