I haven’t seen an ending that grisly since Bonnie & Clyde.

I’d accept “an evil British Kermit made of an excessive quantity of leather from the Fake Tannery”.

How about “Fetid Cretin of Brexit” for Farage?

He’d be very happy to hear that, but if it’s possible to be the leader of an abstract concept then that wasn’t him. The fact is, he was considered such a liability that he wasn’t invited to be part of the main pro-Brexit campaign, Vote Leave. Farage fumed that Vote Leave was a movement led by “cretins” and ranted that…

As someone whose family often broiled steaks in the oven to the point of charring them through, I can attest that ketchup is possibly the only thing that can make a well done steak palatable.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

Who tells a stranger she has “nice skin?”

So what? I failed to get 69 out of my wife last night and you don’t see that on the front page of Deadspin.

Couldn’t we just send all the telephone sanitizers, telemarketers and republicans to colonize the new planets, and tell them the rest of us will follow shortly?

M-O-O-N, that spells Rethuglican .

Ted Cruz also predicted a Ted Cruz presidency, so let’s not get too worked up just yet.

For a lot of the very recent past, I think antisemitism was so totally taboo that, paradoxically, it was easier to call just joking. “Obviously I don’t really hate Jews, what, do you think I’m a Nazi?” Then the 4chan edgelords mixed in with the sincere neonazis, and they looked from anon to nazi, and from nazi to…

Abe Simpson may have been on to something.

Holy shit! I’ve spent the last few years thinking it was Taylor Swift in that gif. Oops!

No… I think Marilyn has that one all sewn up! 

I can think of a way better car for the current president ...

Of course he doesn’t want to be a dictator. Muslims have dictators.

You don’t. Daddy buys your way through.

Well, she is his cock pit.

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.