I’m that friend.

* Read in Church Lady Voice *

As is your observation!

Guess she can’t find a dress.

It’s going to be the best event ever. Very classy

they Bernie senses tingling

I’d rather pee on them.

If had used a digital gauge on the left rear he could have saved it

SQUIRREL!!!

Hooray!!! Four more years of people who did nothing but complain about Obama crying about people complaining about the new guy.

He wouldn’t even ask for a reach-around.

My God, it’s like a mullet on wheels…

So... is this punk gonna serve hard times?

Girl, I remember on election night a man visiting from Canada messaged me on Grindr. Needless to say I broke modern medical science, impregnated myself with triplets as a contingency and am now planning an early spring wedding at a Dave and Busters in Ontario.

Wow, I mean one man taking down the most powerful elected official in the entire world with his investigation?

Funny, she doesn’t look Druish.

don’t forget the Broadway themed Tampons! Tampons! Tampons! downtown

“Devious Backstabbing Little Pus Sac on the Hill”