“Pry me off her with a digger” is the phrase that comes to mind!

I think you’ll find you grew up with a lot of people with two thumbs! I’m assuming you may even be one yourself, or do you want to tell us about your horrific shop injury…

It worries me that someone working for an auto blog is apparently unaware that there has never been such thing as a Ferrari Dino.

Genius! I wonder why they never thought of that before…

That’s not really a problem around Jalopnik Towers…

I thought maybe they’d finally found a way to hide the Ritalin in his food, but then I scrolled down and got the 50s cartoon post!

I’m fairly sure Jared will try to mumble a warning from inside his gimp mask!

You can take the scanger out of Dublin…

I’m waiting for the next re-branding. A nice new logo on a red pair, maybe…

Trust me - you don’t want to ask Pence about his mother…

I’m sure Homeland Security would love to know what her rent is!

My bad… He was a gator!

For a sentient ‘63 Beetle, she looks a hell of a lot like a Fat Chick!

Australia would like to know what your problem is…

Don’t say that until you’ve seen my crocodile!

A 40 of Colt45 and a carton of menthols?

Not sure, but I’d say Van Jones has shat himself laughing!

Some things never change! My brother used to work as head waiter in a hotel near Druids Glen, and when the Irish Open was there, they always had a lot of the players booked in. And the restaurant was very well reviewed, so they always had a busy time even if the place wasn’t full. Anyway, he was on his break chatting…

I though the reason was “Las Vegas still takes the coke”!

Second gear is posted on PornHub!