When aliens send their people, they’re not sending their best… They’re sending aliens that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing anal probes. They’re bringing crime. They’re cattle mutilators. And some, I assume, are good aliens!

#MessageToVoyager I’d like to remind you that as a trusted Kinja commenter, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground sugar caves!

Camel-toe or moose-knuckle!?

Definitely Crack Pipe…

Isn’t that a North Carolina issue? 

Does Conspiracy Brotha get to come too?

Also… Given that this is after getting a gastric band, when is the last time he saw his penis without the use of two or more mirrors?

More like the Capital City Goofball!

Also, as an old Etonian, Moral’s line is probably correct on many levels…

This is San Francisco; “blown SBC in a 4x4" sounds more like a Florida story!

That’s why he’s earning millions and I’m on Kinja!

I think this administration has plans for something along those lines…

That’s on the corner of Dahmer Plaza, isn’t it?

That’s just testing the waters, before re-introducing peasant shooting…

Why would she do this? Tories have known since 1729 that they’re much better free-range! And with fox-hunting banned…

If only he just lied about his bone spurs. Sad!

No-one… This is what you get if you remember to water Kellyanne every day!

Actually, “poofy director pants” = Smokin’ Joe Quimby gag, but thank you for playing…

Let your arm hang down at your side and then, keeping your elbow where it it, lift your hand up and place it just above you belly button. That’s how this arm was from 1948 onwards…