After the Paris Accord shit, I’d bet on a Flood Damage sale! Although at the rate the EPA is being dismantled, they might well find a way to set the water on fire…

Quick tip; don’t bid for cheap bedlinen!

‘Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the NSX was “Oh no, not again”…’

And wasn’t skeezy enough to post sex tapes and out people for shits and clicks…

Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall… Don’t put it in the wall…  

Because nothing says “must see TV” like clapped-out European “stars” dragging their tired, broken-down arses around a pitch for a fucktonne of money…

I always assumed ordering one involved talking to a man called Morden, who asked “What do you want?”

I was being polite, instead of saying that the cloven-hoofed horror just stuffs his snout in the trough!

OK, has this thing appeared on PornHub yet?

This is wartime and post-war Germany; they probably were more concerned about sudden moves to the right…

Who’s this “you” they’re singing about? I thought the only thing keeping the Cardinals down was the Cardinals!

Be careful what you say, because you probably weren’t expecting what Ratzenberger’s day job was!

At this stage, will MLB’s end-of-year gag reel feature anyone not wearing a Cardinals’ shirt?

That’s a low blow, attacking his lack of athletic physique.

My neighbour has a Staffie, and the biggest problem with her is that if she’s loose in the garden when you walk out, she’ll stop digging in the flower bed and charge at you, smearing muddy paws all over your trousers as she tries to lick your hand…

And then the guards came, rounded up him and his family and took them away?

Have you considered working for Kimi Raikkonen instead?

I’m sorry to burst Portugal’s bubble, but drunken chavs in Magaluf worked this out years ago!

I’m sure you’ll manage to change that soon!