Be careful what you say, because you probably weren’t expecting what Ratzenberger’s day job was!

At this stage, will MLB’s end-of-year gag reel feature anyone not wearing a Cardinals’ shirt?

That’s a low blow, attacking his lack of athletic physique.

My neighbour has a Staffie, and the biggest problem with her is that if she’s loose in the garden when you walk out, she’ll stop digging in the flower bed and charge at you, smearing muddy paws all over your trousers as she tries to lick your hand…

And then the guards came, rounded up him and his family and took them away?

Alternative point…

Wait until they decide you’re spending too much time away from your desk!

This should only be allowed if the guy pitching this to the employees starts with “Good news, everyone…”

A company spokesman began by stating…

I think staff should be more concerned about the three seashells in the bathroom!

Have you considered working for Kimi Raikkonen instead?

I’m sorry to burst Portugal’s bubble, but drunken chavs in Magaluf worked this out years ago!

I’m sure you’ll manage to change that soon!

A blog renamed for an infuriating nuisance that you pluck out and throw away at the first available opportunity?

This can’t be COTD; it doesn’t comply with their language laws which… specifically prescribe that all comments be in both English and French, Canada’s two official languages!

They are interns, which means they’re already approaching their “date by” date!

Fire up the DeLorean and head for Oct 21 2015 to set things right…

Same shit, different wrapper…

Alternative Fact…