God, I have so much to say about this. I have silver glitter deer picks that go in my front door wreath. I own the station wagon with the tree on top ornament. And I almost bought that EXACT jellyfish ornament at the beach last week because my son got stung by a jellyfish and I thought it would be a fun reminder?…

If you’re under 25 or 30 *shrug* why not?

lolol for real. My parent would have started shouting. And I definitely would have been the one to clean it up.

Unlike that woman, I have never had an orgasm while eating chocolate pudding. I must be doing something wrong.

I like those guidelines listed above. I thought it was going to be something stupid but those are sensible.

I’ll just leave this here for some of The Greys:

My dad doesn’t watch Doctor Who but knows what it is about. I was explaining regeneration to him and said a new actor was taking the role. A lot of people were upset. He asked why and I said guess. It’s a woman was what he said. I told he he was right. He just shook his head and called them assholes.

See also: Cheeto-in-Chief

There is nothing more off-putting than someone crowing about their success—that they achieved by fucking up and not being especially talented.

it’s always easy in these comments to tell who doesn’t have kids

Oh, and I said this in another spot, but trust that Justine would be livid about the difference in narratives about a blonde white lady victim vs. a black man victim. If she had more melanin, I reckon she’d be getting called an immigrant in the first line of most of these stories.

It’s not even the cameo that’s the problem, it’s how they did it. All but one of the musician cameos the show’s been famous for over the years have been blink and you miss it musical performances by those people (the lone exception was Wilko Johnson as Ilyn Payne).

Justine was a dear friend who was horrified about police violence and committed to making the world better in every way. She had just picked out her wedding dress last week and was so excited to show me. She was texting me trying to get me to go to “dance church” with her on sunday morning, but instead I went to a…

Every other damned thing in the world is being digitized, why not electronic gun holsters? The strap doesn’t unlock unless the body cam is running.

Jon Snow is Dany’s nephew! I know we’re in the land of royal sibling-fuckers here, but still. ICK!

And there are worse “complements” out there, one joyful day a coworker told me that I had beautiful feet (I was wearing sandals), then he added “I have a foot fetish, I love looking yours” then he complemented with a “today is my wife’s birthday and I do not know what to give to her”.

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Okay I have this game figured out.

{sigh}

“You’re not depressed, only serial killers and kids who lost their parents get that.” -My mother response to when I was sixteen telling her I had depression.