Here's a story about dolphins riding whales. I collect happy sea mammal stories for this very purpose. I AM THE HERO THE JEZEBEL COMMENTS NEED.

She looks ok.

the profile of a roman goddess on a coin. perfection.

We know a guy who was named Major Arteburn Riddle - and "Major" was his first name, not a title.

Holy Non Sequitur Batman

Yes you can be whelmed. It just means turned upside down (implicitly with force). It's not often used any-more, except in a few English and Welsh dialects.

I buy things off a person's wedding registry and never give them the gift.

I signed a homophobic and sexist co-worker up for various gay publications, subscriptions and fan clubs. I paid the subscriptions with money orders and had some sent to his home and some to work.

A hell full of gays and drunks sounds way better than a heaven full of reality stars. (Thieves won't be good company but at least they won't have much to steal.)

Okay, HEAR ME OUT.
Bey hates Kim
Gwyn loves Bey (and would certainly listen to her)
Gwyneth's announcement totally steals some of Kim's thunder?

It's Beyonce's world, people, we just live in it.

So that's what a Pinterest divorce looks like.

Can we please not call them "pro-vaxxers?" We don't call all tenured biologists pro-evolutionists or all board certified physicians pro-AIDS-truthers. There's no such thing as a pro-vaxx person or physician. There are normal, functional, educated people, and there are vaxx-deniers, AIDS-deniers, and evolution deniers.…

Instead of "pro-vaxxers" can we just be "normal people" or "rational everyday humans?" I don't want these anti-vax people to be given any more ideas that this bullshit is a two-sided "debate."

"I'm obviously not a scientist..."

Nope! You missed the creepiest bit, he wrote about looking forward to the day he could masturbate again without seeing her body and face.

I'll laugh even harder when fundamentalist Muslims grab on to this with both hands and go nuts discriminating against every infidel. All that crowing about "no Sharia, no enclaves" from the far right, and then they hand them the means to do it. You know how I know there's no god? Because it isn't possible for a…

What angers me the most is that this stance isn't even Christian so I don't know what religion they are defending. I offer the following:

Should I be embarrassed that my crayons had a sex life?

My Barbies were a dark and scary bunch. Not only were there warring factions among them, but there would be regular palace coups, usually involving a lot of nudity and bondage and the occasional public execution. Meanwhile, the My Little Ponies were always either leading military campaigns or doing disaster…

God isn't real. Take your child to a fucking doctor.