Okay, here she is. Her name is Bossy. Once upon a time, she was a starving little stray who stole garbage. Now, she’s an arm-hugging, extremely-affectionate little mischief machine.

My cat, who once opened a microwave oven while the popcorn was popping, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once destroyed a floor-to-ceiling lamp with her butt, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once fell off a bookshelf at 3 AM only to land butt-first on my face (catass…

I actually e-mailed her back to thank her for submitting a long, entertaining post that barely needed any editing. I think I made one edit to that thing.