I lived in Germany for a couple of years...schofferhofer hefeweizen, franziskaner hefeweizen, and paulaner hefeweizen are still my favorite beers...in that order. 

Sorry.

What are you so upset about? 

I’m on the 16-bit diet, where I only eat food I find on the ground. I tried Atkins and Keto but they lacked the cardio from fighting off street walkers and gangers.

How was Golf Story left off this list?

How was Golf Story left off this list?

I know of about 674 things i’d rather do with $3,500 than throw it into an old italian shitbox without a lid.

Oooh. You’re so cool and edgy.

I've known some desperate lesbians who live by that last sentence.

My wife works at a sushi restaurant her family owns. This essentially makes it ayce when I go. The thing about sushi is the diminishing returns. Very delicious at first but once you start packing it in much less enjoyable. I just try to eat until I’m satisfied. It’s often hard to stop before it’s too late but I have…

Didn't they "hire" a bunch of unpaid interns recently? That's a damn shame I remember getting the mag from Funcoland back in the early 90s.

This is what happens when you give marginally employable people lots of power. Most of the TSA people I’ve come in contact with would otherwise be working at fast food chains. 

Why does everything have to be viewed as a reductive stereotype? Men are generally more aggressive and generally less capable of task switching. That doesn’t make them bad fathers, it is just evolution; aggression and focus came in handy when having to hunt for food. All things considered, the commercial made a joke,…

“the flavor is derived entirely from the breading and the fry job.”

The macaroni and cheese may be extra, but the homophobia is still always free of charge.

Is there ad campaign going to be something like “Its Mac and Cheese, not Mac and Steve”? 

I don’t think that’s necessarily what that says. It’s really hard to get drunk off of heavy, good tasting beers. I like craft beers a lot...but if I’m looking at drinking 10 to 15 beers I’m going to get something light like Miller Light or Pabst. Because those craft beers are going to fill me up and make me feel…

They don’t have to “communicate their reasoning,” though. The owners can do what they want (within legal guidelines, of course.) If they don’t want laptops and tablets at all, they can do that and they don’t have to give a reason why.

Sit there and take notes, nearby so they can obviously see you, then ask if he’d be willing to hear some pointers on better call/conversation techniques for next time. Then just continue with it if they refuse.

I’m doing some back of the napkin math here on this one, but my best estimate says the Nile is about 4130 miles long. So if this thing is doing 120 Niles per hour, that translates to 495,600 mph!

You do not listen to ANYTHING in public without headphones, full stop.