Pretty bush league of McCutchen to tweet a photo of the only Pirate whose career took a nosedive faster than him.

No. Patrick left out the part about being 19 in 7th grade.

Was that a humble brag about how you could dunk as a 7th grader?

What’s a better investment vehicle for my ill-gotten gains:

Pork Belly, or Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice?

Since we’re all going to die in a nuclear holocaust in the next 24 months, what are you going to start blowing your savings on to enjoy the time you have left?

PS4 baby.

What a bunch of Indian givers...

I’d sign on in a second. It’d feel great to know that instead of getting the shitty pay I do now because I have no marketable skills, I’d get the shitty pay because I am a horrible person.

I’m not tuning in to the National Say Something Nice About The Person Across From You League every Sunday. Thanks.

Joseph: “We’ve been abstaining and you still got pregnant, Mary? JESUS CHRIST!”

Also, with apologies for commenting twice on this post, why do these sanctimonious twits have to add the only part after abstinence education? Plain-old abstinence education is a good idea! No one - literally no one - thinks it’s a bad idea to point out to kids that they may not be ready for the physical and…

I didn’t know he played football for Penn State.

I thought the same thing. As silly as it may sound, a big reason why was I saw that FSU-Oregon game, and holy shit he looked bad against good competition. He looked completely overwhelmed when he wasn’t playing garbage ACC teams. Clearly he’s figured things out since then.

How did Hannah Keyser make it to this point in her life without ever having had fried chicken?

How do you talk about Arby’s and horribleness and not include a link to this classic Simpson’s quote?

Are you trying to activate sleeper agents with this post?

This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…

I dunno, this kind of makes me like Jeff George more than I did.

“Stupid sexy Flanders”

They got him for almost nothing from Cincinnati last winter, when the disturbing details of the allegations of domestic abuse made him a dalit around baseball...