Much like “affluenza,” mansplaining is a curse among white Silicon Valley tech bros. Oh yes, please invalidate my opinion as you try to educate me about sexism in my industry. Go ahead, it’s not like I have first-hand experience or anything.

I don’t get it either, but it happens so often that it can’t be an isolated incident. With some guys, there’s this assumption that smart=difficult, or smart=scary. Or worse, that smart=feminazi ball-buster. It leads a lot of women to diminish or hide their accomplishments for fear that it will drive men away. For…

Also- my mom has schizophrenia, and growing up with that was fucking hard. I would DEFINITELY mention that if it came up in the conversation, and it helps weed out people who can’t handle it. I’d rather not waste time on people who couldn’t handle hearing about that.

I’ve been where you are, with depression weighing me down and feeling like I had no interests. What did you used to like doing? Try doing it again. Invest in it, love doing it, and don’t feel any shame. I’m a huge sci-fi dork, and while it might not be cool to my peers, getting back into that helped me get through my…

Hey dude, I hope I don’t come off as a jerk here, but it sounds like you’re not in a place to date anyone and should probably be working on yourself right now. And maybe you are! But some of the best advice I read (from a Dan Savage column) was, when you’re in a dry spell and not feeling like a quality mate, to focus…

1. Rude or dismissive to waitstaff or others. If you’re not kind to service people, you’re not kind.

What’s interesting/revealing at times is that some of these things that people don’t want someone else to mention thrive, might be seen more negatively and maybe exist partially because of the walls of secrecy that are placed around them..... When I personally let those walls remain up, not only did I seem completely…

I agree to some degree, but for example, I grew up in a household with an alcoholic parent. In addition to the normal concerns w/ alcohol, this is very deeply part of my experience and ways I conduct myself in life. It can be hard to explain around your feelings about alcohol when people want to drink without saying…

1.) When the person shares entirely too much personal information. I went on a typical sit down dinner date with a guy and by the end (less than two hours) I found out how his prior marriage fell apart, how he still refers to his ex wife as ‘Mommy’, his supposed salary, and God know what else after I started tuning it…

1. Negging and backhanded compliments. That’s an instant sign that they’re trying to gain the upper hand by trying to break down my self-esteem, and a pretty good red flag for a potential emotionally abusive relationship.

When dating someone not of the same culture, when the other person assumes their version of your cultural history/identity is correct. Because your life experiences don’t line up to the stereotypes or biases.

What’s weird about this kind of stuff is that as “uncomfortable” these things might be for you to hear, they can be pretty huge defining moments in people’s lives. Some of us have lives that include histories that were less than ideal and spent many years pretending those things weren’t our lives, keeping our mouths…

I usually request a phone date before I meet someone from an online dating site, which usually weeds out the crazies before I waste putting on my good makeup. My red flags usually deal with misogyny (not respecting what I do for a living, interrupting or mansplaining, etc.).

I came across a blog article yesterday that described my worst dating experience to a T.
Surprisingly enough, for me a huge red flag early on was what this article calls “love bombing.” Everything he said was just TOO perfect, like it was scripted out of a cheesy movie or romance novel. It didn’t feel sincere and made…