Do we have to burn it after?

I am sure Trudeau wishes he could be hanging out on Richard Branson’s island with Obama instead of guest starring on the Political Apprentice.

relevant:

At least the number of dystopian novels with rebellion plots recently have given us a gluttony of plans of attack to choose from. Soon we might be finding out exactly how far we’ve strayed from the roots of our country; I have to say, I never thought I’d be able to fully comprehend the emotional states of the…

I just wish that the Mexican President would agree to a meeting, fly in to Washington, get off the plane, point to the jet and say “That’s how your wall can be defeated”, then turn around and go home.

Kelly Anne Conway thought it was a good idea to leave the house this morning dressed like a nutcracker, why the fuck would I take any of her advice?

Karma is a funny thing.... Maybe in exchange for Prince, Carrie Fisher and George Michael, 2017 will give up on Justin Bieber, Dick Cheney and Donald Trump.

I pandora but rather jus use my phone cuz I don’t like having the two apps (game and pandora snapped up) and I don’t like having th game on a smaller screen . I’m dying for a music app that can run in the background

Was riding an elevator with a massive hangover and Don Rumsfeld strolls in. After the doors closed I ripped a nasty beer fart, looked at Rummy and said “There’s a weapon of mass destruction that even you could find, asshole”.

You can tell your dad all the gas is the same.

True.

Just buy the most fuel efficient vehicle that you can purchase. Plug-in Hybrid that rarely uses gasoline would be best and if you can, install as much solar power as possible on your home/business.

Grow some vegetables, learn to pickle those for the winter and further decrease your carbon footprint.

It’s something…

He’s like a fucking toddler that demands a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and by the time it’s made he doesn’t want it anymore and has run off to eat dirt.

It must be nice to be so privileged and hope for something so simple.

Makes me haiku badly:

Except not everybody survived. And what was the cost? Where might the world be if all those shitty things hadn’t happened? If America simply existing is the goal, I guess it’s hard to lose. I’d think most people would want to aim a little higher.

Chemtrails come from the breath of vaccinated people.

Niner please.

We’re all going to have goddamn portrait-hung TV’s in the future because fucking teenagers can’t film anything in landscape.

I stay the hell away from elderly baggers/cashiers for this reason. They see my 2 year old and think “TIME TO REMINISCE ABOUT THE GOOD OL’ DAYS OF CHILD REARING” and make the longest small talk while sloooooooooooooooooowly bagging my shit up. They clearly don’t remember what it’s like to shop with a ticking time…