Oh, please, white-people-who-don't-know-better, do not try to befriend me for the explicit purpose of procuring a black friend. Be kind, be cool, don't be an ass and if there is a basis for friendship it will happen. Call me "girlfriend" in our first conversation, ask me to teach you to twerk or go deep on hair…

Dear All People,

DAISY YOU HAD ONE JOB.

I think she's had a small stroke. Honestly, it's hard to tell. How do you know for sure when Bleu cheese has gone bad?

I saw Guardians Of The Galaxy AGAIN instead, so Ill just wait to stream it.

"Old weirdo..." (you)

I was like, what's the famous verse in Acts 29, why isn't that ringing any bells? Off to the Google ... It's because there are 28 chapters in Acts. The 29th Chapter is apparently this dude's ministry. Douchebro braggadocio wrapped in livid misogyny is the obvious next step for any good Apostle. I don't know why that…

We should be grateful for fanart

You'd think that the presence of fungi would work wonders at keeping anyone from invading Princess Peach's sovereignty.