America isn’t a country, it’s a business.

Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

That sounds low to me. I demand a recount.

Book 4 has no shit something like 80 pages describing how each character broke his or her individual fast, and how a certain late-middle-aged man was too hot in the summer.

All the stars. I tried to explain to someone that these books are basically a medieval fashion and food magazine with a fantasy backdrop and got a confused stare.

I wonder if they will encounter clothing and food along the way. I’m anxious to hear all about both of those things, perhaps even more so than learning what happens next.

It could be much worse than you suspect. He may have about 500 pages worth of sumptuous banquets, elaborate silken brocades, repeated character tics, travel scenes, and florid equivocation, all sprouting adjectives like one of those mushroom farms that comes in a box, without even a single plot point worth mentioning.…

And each episode should have the Brienne literally wandering in the background and never bumping into any of them.

Nah, he’s got pages.

Whatever happens, I just hope we get lots more of Daenerys wandering from town to town, and John wandering around the North, and Arya wandering all over Westeros and Bran wandering wherever the fuck he’s been wandering.

I think I agree with you. I mean, was there ever meant to be an ending to this thing? Every chapter is practically a new plot with new characters. Even if someone else sits on the throne, what is going to happen to the rest of the people in the story? You think they will be happy with that? These books never had an…

George in 1981: “If I were really cynical I would start some medieval sword and sorcery thing, say it’s a trilogy, then keep writing it for the rest of my life.”

They are convinced that you think the same thing but are too much of a wuss to admit it.

And even if you “won” it’s not like putting all the shapes in place triggered an end to the clock, it’d still all blow up and your efforts would be useless.

Uh, in my household we call that artisanal, oak carbon.

Totally remember that. However, the spring mechanism that sent the pieces flying like grenade shrapnel when the game was new gradually lost its juice over time, meaning that after a while, the game would simply shudder suggestively to remind you that time was up, after which you could leisurely finish putting all the…

Fuck that fucking game. That shit made me cry at least a dozen times.

Does anyone remember the game “Perfection”? THAT is the best gift for a kid you hate. It’s scientifically designed to be nearly impossible and half the time you’re struggling so hard to hurry up your hands would be shaking and then you’d just feel like such an asshole when you couldn’t manage to get the octagon in as…

I know many of the people these candidates speak for. I’m related to many of the people these candidates speak for. What scares me the most about these people (and their candidates) is not that they believe what they believe. What scares me most is the fact that they are all so myopic and delusional that they really,…