I kind of feel like if you combined all of these makeup looks into one, the result would be a zombified Amanda Lepore impersonating a Bauhaus album cover.

I want it all. But I can't afford any of it and wouldn't have anywhere to wear it. I did buy this adorable Scandal-esq trench coat this weekend that I'm pretty excited about. Thank god for Kohls and them always having everything half off.

I know that feel, bro.

I want to make fun of them so bad (especially because one of them is named Monet Berger) but I can't, because I know what it's like to be a slave to your exercise routine. If I go to the gym and there are plenty of ellipticals available, but none of them have movable arms, I will either (a) sit there glaring at the…

BUT YOUR SIGN SAID MY STEAK WOULD BE 1/4 THE SIZE OF A HOUSE! I DEMAND A 500 SQFT STEAK!

What did I just read O_O

Sometimes, when he's trying to set the mood, FluterDude will slip into the voice of Bane.

It is not romantic.

Tom is already basically living the ideal romantic comedy life with me in our London flat. There's no need for him to go out and play act at it when he's experiencing it for real. With me. In our home where we have sex.

Ohmygod that video tho. Her voice, the dead air, the t-shirt twins. I was like . . .

Guys, I won't say I'm in love. I auditioned for a singing contest, and I locked my knees and fainted. But when I walked out of the building I saw one of my guy-friends. Since I have three more auditions, he made me practice on him. I sang a song called "Close Your Eyes," and we slow-danced while I sang. And, I leaned…

Now we can have more regrettable conversations with the girl at the party.

I absolutely lost it at, "I believe the Italians call that fellatio!"

EXCELLENT SHADE THROWING, ALL DESERVED.

ZOMG—that is my story. I'm so proud that it lives on in the hearts and minds of my fellow jezzies!

This is the first thing that popped into my mind after reading this headline!

This is the weirdest Gulag documentary ever.

That was the most amazing thing I've ever read.

You should always link the story so others can share in your horror.

We want the D.

1993.