OF COURSE YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FUCKING DIAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT.

I think she's had a small stroke. Honestly, it's hard to tell. How do you know for sure when Bleu cheese has gone bad?

This is about as comprehensible as Kinja.

I watched this shitstorm on Twitter. (She's fearless when confronted with shit like this, btw.) Guys. SHE NEVER SAID 'I WANT FREE TAMPONS.' She only asked if people knew about any programs in other countries. Just asking that simple question provoked people to call her a cunt. Also, I highly recommend following…

I heard it on Two-and-a-half men years ago.

We really do. It's like, "look friend, I know you know nothing about wine so stop studying the wine list like you're preparing to take a test and just pick one."

I can't stand when they tell the server to come back in a minute and then go right back to their conversation. I'm like, "NO! Look at the damn menu, decide what you want- then talk." I'm a serious gal about my food, the sooner you order, the faster the food comes.

I first read that as 'he doesn't even wear pants', so...

when the fuck else am i going to read my blogs in damn peace?

"Everyone you've ever loved is a walking talking combination poop factory / poop storage facility, and when you hug them, you're pressing your poop-filled belly up against their poop-filled belly and applying pressure."

I stopped reading when you were being creepy about babies with nice asses.

Everyone loves to hate on the wet wipes, but those fuckers get the job done... make a finger ghost and clean that ring around the bathtub.

This caught my eye as well.

Unless it's followed by a slight smirk. Then it's sex.

I move to rename them "Hipster Freeballer Shortpants"

I had a conversation about this the other day. I decided that if a guy refers to his ex as crazy especially if they had multiple crazy ex's that I immediately shut it down and want nothing to do with that person anymore. Generally guys who talk about their crazy ex's their ex was probably crazy but the set your car…

Sometimes I think Donna's the best. But then sometimes I think Andy's the best. Sometimes I want more Ben, other times more Jean Ralphio. MIXED FEELINGS.

I have mixed feelings about Parks & Rec, too... Sometimes I think it's pretty good, but then other times, I think it's awesome. And like, sometimes I think it's funny, but then other times, I think it's kind of sweet and touching. So I get you.

Don't get your feathers ruffled over it. I just don't want to duck the issue.