That sound you heard was Drew Magary spiraling down a vortex of sorrow.

Since I am finally ungreyed on The Slot I have been nervous to comment. It’s too much pressure. So I’m resorting to gifs. Also congrats on getting outta the greys!

Dak feels like he could take on the entire Empire himself!

I want the election over myself. But not because I’m bored, because I’m scared out of my gourd.

They can't cut him. It's not like there's a lot of out-of-work kickers, waiting for the phone to ring, and commenting on Deadspin articles

Meh, can’t blame Osweiler for being pissed off that he got benched in favor of a dead guy. A dead guy that had been cockblocking his playing time for years.

Still better than Cruz and his mummsy.

Fuck you. You don’t deserve anything in the way of token compliments.

Only famous person to ever issue one of those, in the history of the universe, is Selma Blair.

well, he is photogenic? i guess? i don’t think he is hot, because he is just so stupid.

it’s not the words “SORRY USA AND WORLD” written in crayon on a piece of light green construction paper.

They’re clearly all suffering from uromysitisis!

Well, Lochte might not be a good representative of America, but at least he’s an accurate one.

Oh, fuck off.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My wife has celiac, and it’s a mixed bag. A lot of times I’ll say something to the waiter like “She has celiac, she’s not eating gluten free because of a fad diet she’ll get very sick” and they’ll dramatically change their level of seriousness which is annoying because most people assume you’re a moron worried about…

How did you not include the tough mudder/spartan race/warrior dash crowd? I’d say it would have to be pretty high on the list.

This sounds like my worst nightmare. Here’s some gluten-free artwork you can at least enjoy.

I’m going to have to give you a star, because if I don’t, it will be like a tie. And we all know comments can’t end in ties.