Condom Prolongs Rubber Match

Appropriately enough “Working until you die” is also something Paul Ryan believes everyone should do.

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

If they’re looking for an unoccupied space that’s hosted bowls, how about Mark Davis’ head?

It’ll be amazing because Mark is going to play the roles of Tom Brady, Danny Amendola, Julian Edelman, and Rob Gronkowski.

“You think that’s bad—you should see my videos of the things they say at practice”

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Here’s an excerpt from the script:

+.199

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

You can’t go watch football at Penn State because of this? Surely you can separate the two camps in your mind. I think you could be pro Penn State and against child molestation.