like Colbert said, fetuses are like collectibles to the evangelicals--they lose their value once they’re out of their wrappers

Yep. Elizabeth is far more of a nefarious figure than your standard variety grifter. I dunno why people still don’t see her for as awful as she is. Maybe that air of mystery has people trying to analyze her too much, instead of just seeing a criminal. Actually….Elizabeth reminds me of Ted Bundy now that I think of it.

I wake up every day annoyed that this absolute bastard is my senator  and frustrated that there’s apparently nothing I can do to change that because I live around people who are totally cool with her.

The biggest mistake in Blackburn’s tweet is neither the Constitution nor the Declaration of Independence grants those rights. According to the Declaration of Independence, it’s self-evident our rights are endowed by the creator.

Well the last SCOTUS nominee - who described herself as an “originalist” and a “textualist” - couldn’t name the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment.

The main problem is that men equate enjoying sex with being good at it and being hypersexual. Those three things are very separate categories.

never underestimate the amount of hang-ups people generally have about sex.

you better watch out, ID and TX might pass laws charging women with millions of counts of murder in cases like this for also killing all the sperm these guys carry.

“there are laws in 35 states that allow police officers to claim that a person in custody consented to sex with them.”

I didn’t. The way they got together was super messy, why wouldn’t the end be messy too? And Angelina may live a more stable lifestyle now than she did pre-Pitt, but she’ll always be the woman who exchanged vials of blood with her boyfriend. Brad was messy pre-Angie too (maybe not to the same degree).

I am pretty sure Jessica Simpson said in her (very good) autobiography that he did indeed put his own music on when he was with her.

I don’t know why we have nurses in the first place. You’re either fit enough to insert your own catheter or you should be ground into fertilizer.

“it’s clear we need to identify abusive behaviors no matter who or what is on the receiving end.”

Yes, everyone would be better off not telling people how they feel. Just bottle it up and move on.

It’s almost like setting your sights on the imagined perfect man is a recipe for disappointment...

“Pamela Anderson called it quits with her fourth husband this week”

As a makeup aficionado, I hope all contour is on the way out. It may look good in heavily edited social media photos, but it usually looks very fake and muddy in real life. I’m saying this as someone who adores fake ass bright fuchsia and green eyeshadow.

“my kids could draw that”

the whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite jokes ever from the Simpsons about tattoos...how rebellious and yet how conformative.