I'm pretty sure the Knot's business plan is to become the ultimate proxy for The Awful Mother Who Gives So Much Advice. It is the standard-bearer for Traditional American Femininity, the kind that wears shoes that she finds unbearably painful, the one that invites a ton of people to the wedding that she doesn't like…

Probably a landline poll of the people who were willing to pick up the phone between dinner and the second round of Family Feud.

It's called Buy, Buy Baby: How Consumer Culture Manipulates Parents and Harms Young Minds. It was really interesting, I don't have kids yet but I'm thinking about it and this is kind of thing- Disney-washing, Princess-mania stuff that I'm really curious about.

I read a book about marketing to children, and in it they referenced studies about how kids find Cinderella to be the most "aspirational", and she is specifically marketed now only in princess form. You never see good hearted, put upon Cinder Cat, only flashy, corseted, Cinderella.

I'm not one to turn away pics of hot dudes working out, but I do like to think that all of a sudden Scott Eastwood is like "I haven't exercised yet! Quick, where's my gigantic belt buckle?"

I tell my husband, because he has an interest in these things. I also livetweet it the whole time, #reddawn.

If he's so 1% Mr. Moneybags why is he flying commercial? Ugh, heirs are the worst. I thought that the older Hilton that actually made the money said he was cutting off his ingrate grand-hiltons- or cHitlons, because they're kinda porky and usually fried.

My takeaway is that next time I'm having my period I will say "I am in the wardrobe of my Royal Daintiness." So much more quaint than saying it's Shark Week.

The time it took the read this article was like 4 times as long as that fight lasted. It was awesome. Plus she had the most real post-fight reaction no matter your gender: "I really just want some hot wings right now." To her credit, Cat Zingano kept it real, her post-fight interview was like "I just wanna do it…

But... Mae Whitman is not D, U, or F. Hollywood confuses me.

I love my Microsoft Band mostly because I love the sleep and workout charts, with the added bonus of giving my job one more way to intrude on my life with emails.

It's been a while since I've seen the whole movie because I am much more familiar with the "dances only" mode of the bluray, but I am so happy that they are embracing Channing Tatum's goofiness. I'll embrace his goofiness all day long. And then take a break, get a snack, and embrace it a few more times.

Lucky for her she's white, otherwise she'd have to settle for being "sassy".

My husband and I are trying to have a baby and I have had quite a few ups and downs because I specifically am terrified of becoming one of these hyper-positive ethereal "mommies" that shit rainbows. I rolled my eyes so many times reading this lady's words that it counts as cardio.

You guys, this is the year I get an exception for my maxi skirt.

How is Maroon 5 a thing? How is Adam Levine still around? They should have had three songs and faded into obscurity by now, playing nostalgia cruises. There must've been a ritual sacrifice somewhere.

When I inevitably drunk-watch this when it's available for private, shameful home consumption, what's the best companion piece? Maybe follow it up with Showgirls, which is also trying to be sexy while failing miserably but fancies itself meaningful.

Hey, I was misquoted! What I said was "If I touched Justin Bieber's dick, I would kill myself."

What is the first night crowd of this movie gonna be? I feel like it'd be watching Red Shoe Diaries with my mom.

I'm gonna ignore the silliness of calling her "Melinda McCarthy" and instead focus on Kelsey Grammer's fine performance in "Trannies 4". What is this, have the Razzies moved fully up their own asses or something and actually think they're relevant and clever? Way to ruin it, Razzies.