I've never been more angry about a shirt. This shirt is the worst.

Thankfully, @RealPeterson2for1 is behind bars now.

Speaking of things from the 1990s that have been run into the ground and should never be seen again...

If Lisa had gone to my school, I would have grabbed an X-ACTO knife and etched LISA IS A STUCK-UP BITCH on the bathroom-stall partition.

You guys don't understand. The suspension is so short because in a few years, beating a woman unconscious will be legal in like, every state.

Fan 1: Dude... you have to see this.
Fan 2: What? [Watches over shoulder] Oh, this. Yeah, I heard this was coming today.
Fan 1 and Fan 2: [Watching screen]
Fan 1: [Giggles] Waitwaitwait, watch this part.
Fan 2: Oh, God. That is so true.
Fan 1: Right? That is so dead-on. Absolutely dead-on, right?
Fan 2: I'd say so... oh,…

[wags]

I'm more confused by the management here than Subway. I highly doubt that there would be severe repercussions for someone in charge letting someone barfing and passing out go home early. She/he just sounds like a nasty individual abusing whatever little power they have in their running-a-Subway-franchise glory.…

McKnight: Sings "back at one"

"I actually don't really know anything about basketball, so go for it. But I still don't see Cleveland's championship-less streak ending anytime soon."

Dwyane Wade wrote a letter explaining why he opted out of his contract. Fittingly, he used 'Dingbats.'

the first paragraph makes zero fucking sense

I need oven mitts to handle this take

You should see how they react to an own goal!

France

Relax girls, you're both pretty.

You're the worst blog.

That pun is terrible. Take it back. Damnit, re Ken Tarr else.

"Hey, what are you doing? I'm just pulling pranks. You Ken Tarr est me for that!"