The prices were too steep.

Classic Pickle n' Dad!

Sounds like they no longer tea-wanna.

Shit, now what do I tell people I'm drinking at Starbucks when it's really a cup of spiced rum over ice?

You… you gonna finish that?

End of list

Eh there's kinda all of that in Infinite Jest. Depends on how you interpret it!

Gross. Are these people all 8 year olds at a birthday party?

Make it pineapple and sausage and I am THERE baby

I mean, I still say "for goodness' sake" but I certainly don't believe that exists anymore.

I'm glad we've all agreed Amusing Ourselves to Death was an endorsement of politics as entertainment and not some kind of warning.

This newswire betrays a lot of self-loathing snark and implies the writer has very little grasp on true perspective and humanity, marshaling no depth of thought from the rich potential of contemporary literary tradition.

PEDANT PLAN

*breaks Elf's glasses*

He should try Coke Zero.

These are the guys from Xbox Live who slept with my mom, right?

That's better than my '88 Accord.

The Old Testament God after becoming disgusted with the harlot nation of Israel?

Perfect. That's what me and my heroin buddies are used to. I'll bring them!

Got it buffered right out.