Chris, I’ve been reading you since your early Shitehawk days on Deadspin, and this is the kind of sneering tone you used to mock in established writers. You have no knowledge of anything Durant’s going through; you’re reading into an interview and finding a new way to attack the guy. Find a new slant.

The only way to shift all blame away from the Warriors, as Durant at least appears to be doing, is to insist that the calf injury and the Achilles injury are completely unrelated

I’ve gone the other way. I sleep 13 hours a night and I’m in the office max 3.5 hours a day. Two naps in the afternoon. I’m crushing it—average performance reviews two times running, honorary mention for best lunch co-host for recruits.

Yeah its so boring which is why I remember exactly how she looked, what she said, what she was wearing, how she tasted, how she felt... but I was terribly bored the entire time. It’s definitely not the only time I almost had sex.

Also I went to Harvard and she was totally impressed with that. I didn’t bring it up, she…

and Witherfork, Witherstraw and maybe even Witherhands.

I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

It’s a perfect example of how he argues. After claiming that Kobe was one of the best players in 2010-2013, he whips out “25th in VORP for 2012” and hopes that the first two numbers cover for it. Get the hell out of here, man!

Ben, my tiny, tiny dude. “Just behind Brandon Jennings, and ahead of Jared Dudley” isn’t doing the work you think it’s doing.

Seriously, what is with him whipping his arm out after release? It’s in both.

As long as you don’t go in to production at the same time as my soon-to-be-classic Wait, who was I supposed to throw the ball to?: The unlikely journey of Nathan Peterman.

Sure, Amell might be embarrassed right now but this serves as a first rate audition for my upcoming epic C’mon, Man, I’m Wide Open: The Christian Hackenberg Story.

This is a) all true, and b) over Billy’s head, as he doesn’t know that much about United. For all the braying of Arsenal fans over Pepe (who picked them over Spurs, not United) United’s window has strengthened the club where they need it. Also, if you’re going to right about United’s window, failing to note the…

“Tom Brady’s Getting A Raise But Not Actually An Extension”

Well it’s a smidge more relevant than the stance that “do something” can only possibly be understood using the math of “something = repeal the 2nd Amendment.”

So I guess now we’re just going to pretend the assault rifle ban from ‘92 to ‘04 didn’t exist.

Thankfully, Jermaine Jones was unavailable for comment.

I’ve always thought this made sense — especially a lefty righty lefty situation. I think theres a few analytics people pushing for it. I know this is totally irrelevant, but I always did it in MLB The Show!

Hear, hear!

It took me a minute to realize those were two photos side by side, and not one photo showing one Thunder player doubled over in ball pain while a rampaging Green kicks another one in the balls right next to him.

Controversial opinion: fans of some of the also-ran teams are ok with this. They are always looking toward “next year” and would explode if the front office traded off any valuable assets. Look no further than all the Rangers fans laughing at the Astros for getting Grienke with comments like “LOL in 3 or 4 years the…