Magnificent dog is magnificent.

Or a cat. Cats are nice.

That’s why I work at home with my dogs rather than in an office with people.

The house arrest that he is currently under seems reasonable. At least we know he’s securely confined to his home with the mandated ankle monitors.

People are the worst.

My favorite joke as a child was the one that ends in “GET BACK HERE, THAT’S NACHO CHEESE.”

“She tweeted it on Instagram”

Sounds like she doesn’t mind people looking at her photos as long as she doesn’t have to deal with them in person, but Daily Mail commenters are saying she deserves whatever unwanted in-person contact she gets because she took off her clothes for the camera. It’s like a stalker’s delusional attraction for a movie…

I recently went to see a standup show where Trevor Noah was a surprise performer. His whole set was a joke about Oscar Pistorius and the punch line was that his fiancée had annoyed him so badly when he woke her up in the middle of he night that he shot her.

I never understood that part of the movie. Maybe I’m dim but I just did not get the concept of “bend and snap”, and the musical number did little to assist me.

Impossible to work with, not remembering her lines, ruining takes, drunk all the time, making her coworkers uncomfortable all of the time because she was often drunk/high/refusing to put her clothing on.

Oh come on, if you haven’t had rain coming inside of your house because a tornado ripped your roof off, you haven’t LIVED!

can their new features make him fat and bald already?! jesus.

“ongoing effort to develop resources for people who may be going through difficult moments in their lives.”

Is that a bra strap. Did two of these bridesmaids say fuck that backless dress that the bride chose for me, I’m wearing a proper god-damn bra?

Do you have a freezer? I like getting the bags of frozen stir fry veggies and cooking those up with some rice plus garlic and soy sauce. If you eat meat, cooked ground sausage is great with this bc you don’t really need to add much or any seasoning.

Bless you, you tiny tiny man. Own your smallness. When you and the Hemsworths get stuck underground while spelunking, you’ll be the only one able to fit through the keyhole to the outside world, so revel in that.

Coveting these shoes tbh

I like how you think.