But how would I get my boner?

This is the moment in this Major League reboot (Major League: O Boy!) when the team goes on an epic run inspired by tearing off the stick-on clothes of the cardboard cutout of Peter Angelos.

Please bring on the actors from the aughts 90210.

When it’s the Browns, are they leaks or squirts?

Ha! Charlton Heston holding a rifle over his head while yelling “from my cold, dead hand” to a room of gun nuts is the “sane” era. That’s a good one.

So I guess now we’re just going to pretend the assault rifle ban from ‘92 to ‘04 didn’t exist.

The Wood. 

It happened to me! I went to see the headliner, Nick Costa, and boom, there was this gremlin strumming his guitar barely able to keep a tune.

Smaug’s cave is available.

I’m sure you’re aware but the “Once Upon a Time...” title is in reference to Sergio Leone series of films of the same ilk. That is, using the construct of a genre to undermine or subvert the constructs of that genre all while set in the real world. I’m fun at parties. 

Cool!

I saw the Dayton Triangles play when I was a youngster. I have to say that I found their offense rather obtuse.

It’s a good thing we have one of the best corners in the league. He’s going to shut down the best receivers in the league. Good luck throwing to his side of the field!

On that steal, talk about the pot calling the kettle black. The team is literally called the Pirates.

The sheer audacity of it all. Who wool’d of thought a lamb would behave this baa-d?

IDK why but Paul to Milwaukee for Bledsoe and some dudes or picks makes sense to me.

There’s only one real solution, and that’s end the hard cap.

Or the random race! Who doesn’t want to see someone dressed as mustard fall and break the ankles of three other people?

I lost my dad this week. I don’t believe in fate or anything, but seeing the Angels (his favorite team) throw a no-no on such an emotional night and seeing DUAN play Whitney (his favorite singer) is helping with the grief.